As time passes, reality sinks in. I want to stop hoping and waiting because it only ends in disappointments. Every single step seems to point in the direction that I'm thinking. When you have to second guess yourself, things are no longer what it is right? Its a horrible horrible feeling to wake up everyday feeling like this with all the struggles within. All these have to come to an end and stop. So I decided to stop believing, hoping and waiting. Sometimes I really wish to step out of this dream because its starting to become a little too much to bear.

10:28 AM

You know your life is not normal when you sleep at 5am everyday waking up at 3pm and then falling asleep at 8pm again waking up at 12am. Then again, I am just ensuring that I will not suffer from a jet lag when I hit Europe =) Seriously I think what I really need is a life.

1:18 PM

I've reached a point where I'm so fat that it is no longer funny. I shall run everyday after my exams until I leave for Europe. Damn those flabs =(

10:44 PM

Just like how everything else is like in my life.

11:31 AM

Every Sunday, I will be anxiously waiting for the arrival of 1 a.m. Rain or shine, test or no test I will still make sure that I am up and awake at 1 a.m., furiously pressing the refresh button, like a kid waiting to grab hold of a new toy that he has been eyeing on for a long time. Yes thats how I feel on Sundays. I can't wait for a new episode of the show to be released. I just love the show!!! I don't care how ridiculous Taiwan dramas can be and how unreal they can get. I just love that show. How often do you hear actors scolding f*uck in a Chinese drama. Man the thought of watching the next episode makes me damn excited and happy =) Although I know guys can never be like the actor in reality, I still love the fact about how sweet and adamant he can get with regards to relationships. Maybe all these shows are making me have an extremely warped view on how relationships should be and as a result poor Joonie has to live up to all those expectations. Still I love the show. Now I just have to wait 5 mins.........

9:47 AM

The problem is that every other day something will happen to trigger me to think that you dun need a relationship or you need someone else. Neither of it make me merry about. In the event that I raise something up, it just brings out the negativity. At the end of the day I am a liability not an asset.

6:56 AM